nut hugger
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
