i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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