Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
