I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
