i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
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A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
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Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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