I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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