The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
