you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
What drink are we having for lunch?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
