We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
