"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize