Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
