dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Help. Why am I so naked?
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