the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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