But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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