so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
