I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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