I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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