My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize