i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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