Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
