happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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