shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
