can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
