I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
