Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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