since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
