i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
