I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
