haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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