New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
