Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have aggressive nipples.
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