I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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