im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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