yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
