He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
