Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize