Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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