it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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