After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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