If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
