I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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