We won't sleep together?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We had sex on a dog bed..
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
