We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
