How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
