If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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