I just saw a hot homeless man
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
