the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
