you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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