sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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