I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
