I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I could make wine with my vomit
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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