i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize