don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
