real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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