Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
