ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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