Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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