Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
