just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
