he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.