Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie

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  (973): Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie http://tfl.nu/ez65
  Replies (12) Good night (2465) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  Woah.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  that's not how you spell hell yes.

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  (918): you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you? (1-918): Woah. (918): that's not how you spell hell yes. http://tfl.nu/i519
  Replies (56) Good night (7493) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?

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  (701): Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave? http://tfl.nu/y6y0
  Replies (17) Good night (4809) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.

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  (305): I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind. http://tfl.nu/8l0m
  Replies (57) Good night (12408) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD

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  (845): Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD http://tfl.nu/xg03
  Replies (18) Good night (6393) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

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  (315): Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library. http://tfl.nu/bcrx
  Replies (16) Good night (4421) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place

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  (919): There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place http://tfl.nu/pg5t
  Replies (6) Good night (805) Bad night (3786)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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  (501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt
  Replies (27) Good night (4486) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital

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  (403): The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital http://tfl.nu/iqkh
  Replies (4) Good night (3094) Bad night (1514)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.

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  (425): Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years. http://tfl.nu/f3i9
  Replies (8) Good night (682) Bad night (3505)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.

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  (706): Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon. http://tfl.nu/nu6w
  Replies (18) Good night (1276) Bad night (1679)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.

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  (978): You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone. http://tfl.nu/5mak
  Replies (23) Good night (1895) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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  (210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h
  Replies (0) Good night (545) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?

  (716): View more from New York

  If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love

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  (716): Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you? (716): If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love http://tfl.nu/boug
  Replies (1) Good night (872) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room

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  (208): Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room http://tfl.nu/kejm
  Replies (1) Good night (722) Bad night (256)

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