Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.

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(309): View more from Illinois

(917) i just came from walking.

(309): View more from Illinois

haha you just came from walking?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear

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(513): View more from Ohio

He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.

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(303): View more from Colorado

The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?

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(316): View more from Kansas

I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.

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