I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights