be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..