Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
