Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

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  (404): This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect. http://tfl.nu/w6ad
  Replies (17) Good night (1230) Bad night (622)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.

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  (859): Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time. http://tfl.nu/xhpk
  Replies (45) Good night (834) Bad night (2325)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?

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  (561): So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell? http://tfl.nu/0nz8
  Replies (44) Good night (7467) Bad night (1068)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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  (503): I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats. http://tfl.nu/4me1
  Replies (32) Good night (1017) Bad night (5383)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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  (717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one... http://tfl.nu/slb8
  Replies (23) Good night (5868) Bad night (677)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you

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  (716): I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you http://tfl.nu/bf9k
  Replies (27) Good night (841) Bad night (6337)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".

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  (516): i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed". http://tfl.nu/0nax
  Replies (40) Good night (1061) Bad night (5238)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

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  (703): I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone. http://tfl.nu/c91d
  Replies (4) Good night (2431) Bad night (1003)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .

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  (902): New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever . http://tfl.nu/6kwm
  Replies (6) Good night (2840) Bad night (1100)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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  (813): For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club. http://tfl.nu/n6ph
  Replies (18) Good night (595) Bad night (1493)
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  (916): View more from California

  No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.

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  (916): No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace. http://tfl.nu/5hw2
  Replies (12) Good night (991) Bad night (1923)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.

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  (401): I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan. http://tfl.nu/w9o4
  Replies (3) Good night (1425) Bad night (688)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".

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  (206): he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun". http://tfl.nu/e6oo
  Replies (8) Good night (3303) Bad night (482)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER

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  (434): THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER http://tfl.nu/7inm
  Replies (8) Good night (871) Bad night (419)
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  (914): View more from New York

  But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.

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  (914): But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level. http://tfl.nu/ncka
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (691)

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