Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"

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  (925): He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest" http://tfl.nu/ei63
  Replies (12) Good night (3879) Bad night (616)
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  (818): View more from California

  I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.

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  (818): I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch. http://tfl.nu/o7me
  Replies (19) Good night (7003) Bad night (851)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.

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  (570): martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions. http://tfl.nu/krux
  Replies (13) Good night (3212) Bad night (805)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf

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  (905): No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf http://tfl.nu/d4pp
  Replies (8) Good night (865) Bad night (3874)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth

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  (540): The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth http://tfl.nu/eovp
  Replies (8) Good night (3078) Bad night (713)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.

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  (920): I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone. http://tfl.nu/uom5
  Replies (14) Good night (1499) Bad night (742)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'

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  (309): he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins' http://tfl.nu/d755
  Replies (9) Good night (1910) Bad night (993)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?

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  (918): Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo? http://tfl.nu/ep0z
  Replies (22) Good night (2032) Bad night (523)
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  (925): View more from California

  Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion

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  (925): Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion http://tfl.nu/770v
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (997)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore

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  (512): The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore http://tfl.nu/9q9y
  Replies (4) Good night (350) Bad night (692)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.

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  (+44): I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed. http://tfl.nu/rr9p
  Replies (2) Good night (829) Bad night (275)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.

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  (919): I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day. http://tfl.nu/lt26
  Replies (4) Good night (843) Bad night (253)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink

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  (480): It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink http://tfl.nu/j4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (272)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Great news. Our sex broke my otter box

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  (709): Great news. Our sex broke my otter box http://tfl.nu/dqxv
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (266)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?

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  (919): if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen? http://tfl.nu/jo08
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (283)

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