Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo http://tfl.nu/iz8u
  Replies (7) Good night (740) Bad night (3441)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream. http://tfl.nu/8fzb
  Replies (5) Good night (6156) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home http://tfl.nu/ug2x
  Replies (77) Good night (7607) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway http://tfl.nu/ikbt
  Replies (10) Good night (3371) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in http://tfl.nu/2mgj
  Replies (5) Good night (2879) Bad night (1273)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me. http://tfl.nu/jath
  Replies (6) Good night (3264) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off? http://tfl.nu/9svp
  Replies (3) Good night (1354) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong. http://tfl.nu/hqmh
  Replies (3) Good night (1283) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment. http://tfl.nu/va62
  Replies (5) Good night (715) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water? http://tfl.nu/897n
  Replies (2) Good night (1287) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear http://tfl.nu/fox2
  Replies (2) Good night (944) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me... http://tfl.nu/bzfn
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE?? http://tfl.nu/27co
  Replies (4) Good night (714) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party http://tfl.nu/btv9
  Replies (8) Good night (642) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit http://tfl.nu/n31s
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (111)

Randomize