Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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