Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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