There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
