He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
