I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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