Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
