So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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