It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she peed on how many people?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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