Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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