Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
